Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Eek! I'm such a let down!

Ok, sorry for not blogging. I'm completely letting myself down. I know that I haven't blogged in ages and tell myself 'You need to do a blog post today' pretty much every single day, but I put it off and put it off. Things are pretty hectic (as always?!) and to be honest I think I'm struggling. I'm a little scared about this post and what people will think.

I miss uni life massively. Seeing my friends every day. Doing something I love everyday, and having something I really needed to work towards and try hard at really kept me going I think. The friends bit is the worst though I think (minus my absolute rock of a bestie here in Hull). I miss having people that I instantly have something in common with. That share my love of fabric and buttons and bouncing ideas off each other constantly.

I keep randomly having moments of panic & find myself overly emotional and anxious. I've lost most of my confidence in myself because nothing seems to be going quite the way I imagined it to. Is this just something that comes with spending 3 years of your life working so hard toward something and then have nothing come of it? Am I having some kind of (Very early!) mid-life crisis or am I not the only post grad feeling this way?!

So here is where I'm drawing the line. Straight after I write this post I'm making a list. A list of everything I don't like about my life right now and how I'm going to change it. Something to work towards and accomplish. I HATE being negative and don't like this grumpy person I've become - i feel like more of a grumpy teenager than ever before and I'm not even a teenager anymore so I can't even have that as an excuse!

I need your help though - I know people read this blog - some of you I know and some are complete strangers. Have you guys ever felt really lost and you don't know where you're supposed to be going or doing? How have you got yourself out of this rut and found your 'purpose'?

(Sorry for such a negative post guys! Thought it's about time I shared this and see if I'm the only one!)


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